
Majestic eagles circling high
Claim their ownership of the sky
Antlered deer climb mountain crags
Or wallow deep in peaty hags
Grouse calls warble from the moor
While seals sing a Mermaids lure
The red squirrels gravity defy
And dolphins spark delighted cries
But from valley floor to mountain ridge
The one we speak of most – the MIDGE
Oh midge of Scotland why oh why
Do you feel the need to bleed us dry
To bite and annoy our tender skin
While we try to take the outdoors in
When tired and resting viewing views
You plague us getting up our trews
You find your route through the tiniest nooks
Despite sprays and creams from expert’s books
180 trillion beasts
Each expecting daily feasts
We’re well outnumbered fair and square
Enough to leave us in despair
From early dawn to sunsets spectacular
They challenge the language’s Scot’s vernacular
From down your top to up your trews
They come not able to refuse
Determined to leave their itchy traces
In all your personal private places
So Skin So Soft and Smidge are here
Anointed in a shiny smear
All exposed skin is treated so
In efforts to defeat the foe
But grown men with hairy beards and stuff
Still weakly shout ‘enough’s enough!’
As on mild days when breezes lack
Comes the midgies scream ‘attack, attack’
And every pimple, every cell
Is subject to their prickly hell
Our sprays and creams to no avail yeah
But it could be worse, we could live in Australia
28000 different biting flies
So be grateful we’ve just wee midges guys.